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GameSpy Arcade
PhoeniX WorX
Total Annihilation Universe
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These are an assortmant of quotes collected over time from TA players. These quotes have not been altered in any way whatsoever. Some may not seem funny only because they are inside jokes, so If you don't like them.... go complain to someone who gives a damn!

**New quotes in red**


Batch 1:


<TC_Gandalf0> if TA dies I will die

<Simon> Yeah...Gandy is the Anti-Christ.

<GBL_Cire> venom did ur mother have any kids that were not mentally retarted or did they all turn out like you?

<GBL_Cire> venom how old are you?
<GBL_Cire> and never been laid well cept by destroy maybe.

<GBL_Cire> dude u couln't hit the bride side of a barn with a pelet gun standing 2 feet away from it, how u gona own me?

<GBL_Cire> venom u couln't father a bitch if it was willing, able and spread wide eagle in front of you, somehow u'd fuck it up.

<GBL_Cire> davids problem is he is a 35 year old, and never been laid, so he surrounds himself with a bunch of pussies that he calls FFaX :)

[PAGE]<TC_Gandalf> your nothing but a little nigger boy you know that right

<TC_Gandalf> you little whte trash punk bitch

<GBL_Cire> why did u put soap in your eyes?
<GBL_Cire> seen david naked?

<EVA_MaD> bend over my bitch cire
<GBL_Cire> u bend over you skinny little brat

<alkoholic187> u can confuse a pollock by puttin him in a round room and tell him to piss in a corner

<ID_cheshirecat> i take drugs because i have to
<ID_cheshirecat> not because i want to

<alkoholic187> man ........u guys know how i get my dick to be nine inches long???????
<ID_DArgo> measure twice?

<Black_Lung> fuck it i guess i cant play anymore
<Black_Lung> cya all
[EXITS] Black_Lung
<BlackFlag> cya
<BlackFlag> ding dong the bitch is dead

<ID_DArgo> if I ever have a retarded kid I hope he's just like MaD
<ID_DArgo> he's very functional

<X_Destr0y_> ive had a bout 5 girlfriends
<X_Destr0y_> this year i might get one in bed :D

BlackFlag: why cant TA just be a world of cuddly teddy bears

bomba: wtf is that poo all about

FFAxDAVID> figures-alot of decent players tend to be jealous of ffax tag :)

<RawDawgKI> stop acting like a panamanian glowstick dancer aight?

<TAG_Dominator> i only like 1 thing in life
<TAG_Dominator> MEN

<X_VeNoM> hey anathema remember on the bus when u stuck ur arse out the window
<X_VeNoM> and i looked out
<X_VeNoM> and they thought we were twins
<EVA_MaD> his ass looked like u?

Daddy_Irrelevant> mad want a tip mate?
CBB_MaD> ya
Daddy_Irrelevant> In future stick ur finger up yer ass while u wank!!!!!!!
CBB_MaD> i already do that

OSP_UBetterRecognis> there are some good ffax players

<ID_Hercules> i reckon if ya bitch slapped ven des would cry for him lmao

<Rowley> i lost to mad
<Rowley> i suck

<Black_Flag> mark
<Black_Flag> if we do time together
<TC_Gandalf> what
<Black_Flag> we will play make believe TA
<Black_Flag> and we will get locked down because i flash rushed you

<CK_Dominator> gaylord is a word which is against the code of conduct i suggest u shut the fuck up

<TC_ElendiL> Dirty little EVA punk
<EVA_MaD> any TC little bitchs want owning?
<Black_Flag> africans unite!
<EVA_MaD> u think if i united with them they would stone me?
<Black_Flag> the children wanna go home
<NNN_Newsbot3> I think if you united with them they'd stone themselves

[CLAN]EVA_Elijah: people that smell like doo doo dont get any

<CK_BlackFlag> being a newsbot is probably the most proficient way of proclaiming one's homosexuality
<NNN_Newsbot10> o_O
<NNN_Newsbot9> O_o

<ID_DArgo> who wants to play" what's my finger smells like"?


Batch 2:


X_SASHighlander> Game 10. Average Player Wanted For 1v1 Battle. NO EXPERTS.
TAG_D0MINAT0R> but ur in the expert clan
TAG_D0MINAT0R> lmao that makes no sense

<Vipaq> is it by sierra?
<EVA_MaD> no
<EVA_MaD> cavedog is the god damn company
<Vipaq> really?!?!?!
<Vipaq> u lying son of a bitch
*EVA_MaD sighs
<Vipaq> its the sweedish yankspankers
<Vipaq> I remember that
<Vipaq> from the loading screen

<CK_BlackFlag> gandalf is like a pubic hair on a public toilet seat
<CK_BlackFlag> eventually he's gonna get pissed off

<TAG_Dominator> i dont lag i just have invisible bombers.

<BlackFlag> lessons of being friendly from gandalf LOL YA just like i take lessons on how to be a man from 8 year old girls

<plastic_Force> treat her like shit , and dump her in the toilet
<plastic_Force> flush it then pull her out and ask for bj
<plastic_Force> if she says no
<plastic_Force> repeat step 1

<GBL_Legend> i am basically 100% brittish
<Black_Flag> 100% british and you cant spell british

<GBL_Guttenaffe> I got a match for u too dom, my face and ur ass!
<GBL_Guttenaffe> no i mean your ass and my face

<GBL_Legend> venom has about as much intelligance as a pack of monkeys trying to fuck a football .

<EVA_Micah> MaD, I will run naked through your house spanking myself gleefully in front of your females whilst having a huge erection.

<ID_DArgo> anybody wanna touch my monkey?
<SaFe_SaFe> yes
<SaFe_SaFe> i will be gentle
<ID_DArgo> //blush

Edited by poosticks: CoC violation

<TC_Gandalf> I went and had a lan with Zones 187 clan
<X_VeNoM> did u get rushed and go home?

<TC_Gandalf> at least I am not alone in a room jerking off to myself acting like a hard guy
<GBL_Totalmax> if your jerking off ya gotta be a hard guy

<N_EvilScott> I dont get it... what the fuck is so big about being a gay guy anyway? I mean... what the fuck you doing? putting it in some guys ass? Big whoop, there's noting on a's boring as fuck. With a girl you have boobs, attractive body, pussy, mouth :P I mean you got a playground there! I don't know why people are gay.

<GBL_Cire> tek don't like me
<GBL_Cire> i screwed his gf, and she left him :)

TAG_DOMINATOR: dont fuck with me u black son of a bitch or i will screw ur bollocks to the mother fucking ceiling

<GBL_Cire> venom, u can say good bye to your account, i can pretty much guarentee you will never see it again, you bitch and drag my name through the mud and start crap at the zone about me, and then ask me for your account back after insulting me
<GBL_Cire> u can kiss my harry white ass bitch
<X_VeNoM> button it
<GBL_Cire> button that you freak

<X_Destroy> this place sucks anyway
<X_Destroy> 1)its full of noobs
<EVA_MaD> *besides me
<X_Destroy> 2)its full of idiots
<EVA_MaD> *besides me
<X_Destroy> 3)Hardly anyone comes on
<EVA_MaD> *besides me
<X_Destroy> 3)no one sucks cock
<EVA_MaD> *besides me
<EVA_MaD> ack


Batch 3:


OZ_Frisky> i might not be smart but i can lift heavy things

<plastic_force> someone blocked the toilet the other day and i needed to take a shit , and when i flushed it my shit came over the top and slid along the floor

<GBL_Cire> Shit happens, just look at that FFAx clan on pw

<EVA_Force> ana after sex your mum looks like a pitbull eating mayo

Pro_Shaner> the japs have small penises
OZ_Frisky> so do I and i still come here
OZ_Frisky> everybody must know to coz i keep getting penis enlargement spam mail in my email. im getting a do they know

<EVA_MaD> i lost my virginity....
<EVA_MaD> over the internet

<GBL_Bard> drive home in reverse
<GBL_Bard> no one will suspect anything
<ID_cheshirecat> pass out in your car
<GBL_Bard> that way you can see if a cop gets behind u

<Alkoholic187> i wish i could take this mic to bathroom so everyone could hear me take a shit

<GBL_Guide> im growing too fast
<EVA_MaD> i have that same problem with my penis
<GBL_Guttenaffe> it aint growing ur just shrinkin

<AnarKy_Destroy> My Nipple Has Pubic Hairs.

<EVA_MaD> no but for real
<EVA_MaD> i have herpes simplex on my eye
<EVA_MaD> got it when i was like 5
<ID_DArgo> I don't have herpes and would like to keep it like that
<EVA_MaD> wrestling with my older brother
<EVA_MaD> his penis
<EVA_MaD> it hit me in the eye

<ID_DArgo> school is over rated
<ID_DArgo> boxes makes great homes
<ID_DArgo> and dumpsters are full of food
<ID_DArgo> let that be a leason to genius kids like venom

<EVA_MaD> omg it smells like fart in here
<EVA_MaD> hmmm
<EVA_MaD> i wonder if i farted
<EVA_MaD> damn i dont remember

<EVA_IWantsomCash> who is the luff 11
<ID_DArgo> cire
<EVA_MaD> yes?
<ID_DArgo> no but it could be
<EVA_MaD> oh i thought u were addressing me
<EVA_IWantsomCash> lol
<ID_DArgo> did "cire" look like "buttmonkey" on your screen?

<EVA_MaD> why must i lack the modivation to move
<ID_DArgo> welcome to my world
<EVA_MaD> lol
<ID_DArgo> if I were lazier I'd be in a coma

<GBL_Guttenaffe> I'm not a complete idiot! Some parts are missing.

<plastic_force> the next guy to talk eats ass cookies =p
<EVA_MaD> nuh uh

<EVA_MaD> where do i find memory?
<EVA_MaD> i cant remember
<ID_DArgo> in your tiny head?
<EVA_MaD> which one?
<EVA_MaD> i mean
<EVA_MaD> shutup

Alkoholic187: i went to take a piss and im wearing a tank top ..i ripped one shoulder strap off...for that andre the giant look

<Alkoholic187> Gandy u dont even have a dick
<TC_Gandalf> yes i do
<Alkoholic187> well spit it out i need it back


Batch 4:


<EVA_MaD> gandalf has loosend his son's ass up nice and good for me
<TC_Gandalf> what a nigger
<TC_Gandalf> the words of a true nigger
<EVA_MaD> why you say that? "niggers" rape him to?

<TC_Gandalf> nigger happy GBL

<TC_Gandalf> I have no issue with blacks
<TC_Gandalf> just niggers

EVA_DaM_> real men dont stick broom handles up other mens ass's.... real men use there hands!

GS_NutSac__> smoking butts kills you
EVA_DaM_> no
EVA_DaM_> smoking nipple pubes kills you
H_F_Vapor_> nipple pubes...holy fucking shit

<GBL_Guttenaffe> I'm not a Nerd dag nab it!
<GBL_Guttenaffe> I'm a C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R G-E-E-K

EVA_DaM_> i have a friend that can lick the tip of his own penis
EVA_DaM_> he let me watch one time
_Antisocial_> um, ok now THATS wierd
_Antisocial_> i mean, i could accept it more if he let YOU lick his tip
AnarKyJuNKiE> maybe if u give him a dollar he will let u join in mad
EVA_DaM_> nah man
EVA_DaM_> we are good friends
EVA_DaM_> he would let me for free
_Antisocial_> fine if yer gonna suck yer own
_Antisocial_> but to watch YOUR BUD do it?

_Antisocial_> yeah, its cuase i eat alot of salads and fresh squeezed juices
EVA_DaM_> fresh squeezed juices as in what comes outa my man tube after i jerk?

H_F_LethalPred> bye man
(Exit) H_F_LethalPred
(Enter) H_F_LethalPred
H_F_LethalPred> 1on1?
H_F_LethalPred> oh
H_F_LethalPred> same game

+AussieShaman28> i'm looking at your piccy
+AussieShaman28> u have not even shaved yet
EVA_DaM_> what are u talkin about
EVA_DaM_> i've been growing that in for years

<EVA_MaD> let me explain this to you children
<EVA_MaD> all circle around here
<EVA_MaD> ...
<Alkoholic187> circle around folks
<EVA_MaD> when you get the privledge of obtaining the 'EVA_' tag it gives you special powers
<EVA_MaD> powers in which you cannot withold
<EVA_MaD> powers to KICK ALK'S ASS!
<Alkoholic187> look i can piss in the toliet with the seat down ....and not get it wet =P
<Alkoholic187> thats power

BlackFlag: did i ever tell you about the time a ta player gave me 200
NorthSider: lol u told me that earlier
NorthSider: how'd that happen?
NorthSider: lol
BlackFlag: i said i need 2000
BlackFlag: 200
BlackFlag: and he said ok
NorthSider: lol
NorthSider: who was it?
BlackFlag: he said will you pay me back
BlackFlag: i said ya
BlackFlag: nm_neomatrix
NorthSider: lol
BlackFlag: this happened like 2-3 years ago lol

EVA_DaM187> i hope when u die u go to hell and satan sticks a needle in your eye

BlackFlag: i dont smoke rock but if you got some i will party with ya

(MS)PLU_Russian> :P
EVA_MaD187> ur so sexy when you use your authority
EVA_MaD187> do you have a phoenix worx jumpsuit as well?
EVA_MaD187> i love a man in uniform

_MaD187_> alk
alkoholic187> ban me again ill rape ur mother
+The_Hippy_74> plz dont swear in main lobby
_MaD187_> u fuckin bastard how ya doin

<GP_Guttenaffe> Toolbox stop humpin MaD's leg like a rabid dog O_o
<MaD> it's ok
<MaD> i like it
<GP_Guttenaffe> well he'll quit in a min as well

<GP_ToolBox> how can i take the day off work ?
<GP_Guttenaffe> tell um you took viagra and your boner laster for more than 4 hours soyou gotta goto the doctor

OZ_Frisky> woohoo bummed a ciggy at work now i put half of it in my pot mix
OZ_Frisky> ahh thats better damn io hate giving up smoking

DaM187> i got sunburn.... wanna get naked and lather up in aloe vera and roll around with eachother?

[15:36:20] Insufficient permission rights!

<MaD> ur nuts
<GP_ToolBox> NutsBox....
<MaD> haha
<MaD> kinda like a nutsack

<GP_Guttenaffe> here mad this is for you
<GP_Guttenaffe> ;)
<MaD> no thanks
<MaD> i dont accept porn in .exe form
<MaD> ok!

<GP_Guttenaffe> chickens are cool
<GP_Guttenaffe> cause you can kick them
<MaD> gutte
<GP_Guttenaffe> and they are to dumb to know who did it
<MaD> shutup
<GP_Guttenaffe> I'll shurt up
<GP_Guttenaffe> when you put my dick back in your mouth
<MaD> i think i'd shutup then

<GP_Guttenaffe> Well, I'm real funny, but my looks will fade at some point O_o

<GP_Guttenaffe> why did I just get a spam message
<GP_Guttenaffe> "I just bought a car"
<GP_Guttenaffe> who gives two fucks of a monkeys ass O_o
<MaD> these spam things are gettin good..... startin to know what i'm thinkin
<MaD> i just got one sayin "do you have a small penis?"
<MaD> natural male enhancement
<MaD> ack
<GP_Guttenaffe> better buy some quick
<MaD> im already stocked up


Batch 5:


Irrelevant> Im sorry to be mean
DaM187> dont be sorry pussy
Irrelevant> Mad is such a tosser!
DaM187> haha
Irrelevant> :D
maiden> it suits you !
DaM187> domi likes to chew my nipple pubes!
Gantloup> damn so much weird talk
Irrelevant> mad i have taken a picture of my willy on my phone want me to send it u?
Gantloup> im just to young for that kind of talk
Alkoholic187> LMAO
DaM187> yes domi... 970-308-9917

<GP_Guttenaffe> <- not working gets lots of money doing stuff for ppl "under the table"
<MaD> *ahem* blow jobs *ahem*

StarScreamOmega> game on 3
FlashCobra1> that a noob game
FlashCobra1> TA is meant to be played with no rules
StarScreamOmega> yeah its o noob game
StarScreamOmega> it makes the game harder
FlashCobra1> thats BS
FlashCobra1> total BS
FlashCobra1> it makes it harder for normal players not used to ur crap rules
FlashCobra1> u ruin the game
Cardmann> I lost
FlashCobra1> TA HAS NUKES,BBs AIT...fucking use them!
StarScreamOmega> fuck you, you wanking bastard
Cardmann> Again
FlashCobra1> poor little hot head noob
StarScreamOmega> shitting there telling me what to do, fuck you and your family
FlashCobra1> haha
FlashCobra1> anger problem?
FlashCobra1> dix lick u online
FlashCobra1> all over the place
FlashCobra1> so i dont blame u
FlashCobra1> u will see the light one day
StarScreamOmega> u know nothing about me, so fuck off
FlashCobra1> u can tell a lot by temperment
FlashCobra1> and the fact that u cant play TA
StarScreamOmega> u know fuck all

_MaD187_> other night i went to sleep with teamspeak left on
StrickenAza34> LOL!
_MaD187_> heard some mother fuckers start talkin
_MaD187_> i hid under my covers
StrickenAza34> lol
_MaD187_> thought someone was in my room

shrekar> your such a gay kunt mad

*GP_Guttenaffe hovers on boot button
<MaD> dont fuck wit me gutte i'm huge

<Christian98> Why can I not access the game section?
<GP_peege> he's gone
<GP_peege> its not up yet
<GP_peege> will be soon
<Christian98> Oh o.k. cool. :)
<Christian98> Thanks.
<{KM}Sage> how soon?
<MaD> soon as i feel like putting it up
<MaD> been busy lately
<{KM}Sage> ??\
<{KM}Sage> is that you Cire, or what?>
<MaD> yes my son

DaM187> how was your wank and doin rollie pollies down the hallway you big gay dinosaur?
Irrelevant> not bad mate, but my foreskin feel like it has been rubbing against a mother fcuknig mile length of sand paper.
DaM187> ya man i know that feeling

DaM187> what you think you can pay me in monopoly money? i'll smack ya in the head with a baseball bat

Doolittle -[NAM]- i think you have your finger in the comps port

KRT~Lord__Zeus> sojer wtf is with your maps?
PLU_SojerCore> nothing
PLU_SojerCore> i just type that
PLU_SojerCore> :P
KRT~Lord__Zeus> why dont have have some?
DaM187> rofl!

[14:54] Gandalf has entered the room
[14:54] <whisper> HiBot> FLOWER!!
[14:55] CBU_Daniel_Lennox> not caps swearing plz :P
[14:55] DaM187> that better?
[14:55] CBU_Daniel_Lennox> yup
[14:55] CBU_Daniel_Lennox> :)
[14:55] TimmyFred> LOL, dam

[15:00] DaM187> gandalf shush
[15:01] Gandalf> ok
[15:01] DaM187> thank u

[01:20] Hercules -[NAM]- where is the game ffs i come on here and ya all playing with ya selves ffs: but i have trimmed me beard since than
[01:21] NorthSider Rider: you know what we call that in jail?
[01:21] NorthSider Rider: fuzzy pussy :P
[01:21] NorthSider Rider: hahaha

<GP_Guttenaffe> MaD does suck
<MaD187> true dat ^
<MaD187> //hehe
<GP_Guttenaffe> just not at TA, he's good on his knees

<MaD187> same ole same ole
<MaD187> bleh we need games and ranks ffs
<MaD187> god damnit
<MaD187> gamers playground... a place you can go and chat ... and.... ummm.... thats it

fsf_rduky> you are a fuckin noob
fsf_rduky> i kicked your ass so hard on gpp
fsf_rduky> it makes me want to touch myself

alkoholic187> I like my mexican baby daddy. We crossed the river together and eat tortillas everyday for breakfast. Then I suck his mexican wang.

<GP_Guttenaffe> my PC is all coice activated
<GP_Guttenaffe> *voice
<GP_Guttenaffe> except it picks up stuff wrong somtimes
<MaD187> wait a sec
<GP_Guttenaffe> I always talk like this
<MaD187> how u displayin text?
<MaD187> ur just talking?
<GP_Guttenaffe> [input, text][Program Gamers PlayGround]Hello MaD how are you[punctuation:stop][return]
<MaD187> o.O
<GP_Guttenaffe> who doesn't?
<GP_pocketgeek> heh
<MaD187> shutup
<MaD187> ur full of shit
<GP_pocketgeek> I don't wanna talk to my pc
<GP_Guttenaffe> I do
<GP_pocketgeek> it tends to backtalk me
<GP_Guttenaffe> it tells me it loves me
<MaD187> i bet it talks dirty to u
<MaD187> and vice versa